check my essay and score

QuestionsCategory: Writing Task 2check my essay and score
jumanablack asked 2 years ago

Recent decades have witnessed tremendous economic development.However, the gap between the richest and poorest nations remain considerable. Some people argue that the development nations should assist under developed ones with food and education. Alternatively, others believe it is best for the leaders of the poorer countries to solve their problems on their own.
  I think that assistance to a poor country from a wealthy could benefit both countries.For instance, proving aid might lead to better trade and diplomatic relationships. As matter of fact, wealthy nations may benefit from access to natural resources.
   In the other hand, there are people who believe that poorer nations should solve their own problem. So that, they become independent and stronger. The government should focus for increasing education if the education is good for the solution, that’s way the public society become independent and then they become wealthy nations by that education. It is really important to increase for developing country from the lowest advantages and income, this is method to decrease the poorer nations in the world.
     In conclution, i support the poor countries to make better life for their people. In other side, the government should pay attention to give solutions for their own country that become independent.

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Rachel replied 2 years ago

can you post the question, please?

1 Answers
Rachel Evans answered 2 years ago

Recent decades have witnessed tremendous economic development. However, the gap between the richest and poorest nations remains considerable. Some people argue that the development developed nations should assist underdeveloped ones with food and education. Alternatively, others believe it is best for the leaders of the poorer countries to solve their problems on their own.
You should include your opinion whether you agree or disagree with the statement in the introduction. If you fail to state your opinion, you may lose score in TA.
I think that assistance to a poor country from a wealthy one could benefit both countries. For instance, proving aid might lead to better trade and diplomatic relationships. As matter of fact, wealthy nations may benefit from access to natural resources.
In On the other hand, there are people who believe that poorer nations should solve their own problem. So that, they become independent and stronger. (this part should be linked with the previous one) The government should focus for on increasing education if the education is good for the solution, that’s (no contraction should be used) way the public society become independent and then they become wealthy nations by that education. It is really important to increase for developing country from the lowest advantages and income, this is method to decrease the poorer nations in the world. (?!)
In conclusion, I support the poor countries to make better life for their people (support the idea poor country should…).  In other side, the government should pay attention to give solutions for their own country that become independent.
Overall 4.0
Under word
Task achievement – (maximum 4.0)

  • ideas are very limited and not sufficiently developed
  • the development is not always clear

Coherence and cohesion – 4.0

  • make inaccurate cohesive device
  • paragraphing may be inadequate

Lexical resource – 4.5

  • use a limited range of vocabulary
  • make some errors in word choice and word form..

Grammatical range and accuracy – 4.0

  • use only a very limited range of structures (you should use complex structures rather than simple ones)
  • make some errors in forming sentence,

check my essay and score
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Rachel replied 2 years ago

can you post the question, please?

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