can you please score my IELTS Writing essay. can you please score my essay and help to improve my writing skills

QuestionsCategory: Writing Task 2can you please score my IELTS Writing essay. can you please score my essay and help to improve my writing skills
Mehr asked 2 years ago

 
Control over Private Transportation
Introduction:
In 1988 the first car appeared on British roads, which was a good initiative leading towards independence while travelling on roads. Studies have shown that by the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. This raises a question whether alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and there should be an introduction of international law on control of car ownership and use.
The concept of introducing an international law on control of car ownership and use sounds good because:

  • Traffic is controlled
  • Increase in Socialization
  • Cheaper compared to private vehicles
  • Rate of pollution is less
  • Increase in saving and less energy consumption

Traffic Control: with alternative forms of transport like public transports buses, trains and tramps these help roads to be free from traffic. Which in turn helps emergency where vehicles like ambulance, police cars etc., to reach its destination to the earliest.
Increase in Socialization: Using public transports creates a space in people to interact with strangers coming from different communities which gives rise to feeling of oneness. Hence, opens a pathway to remove the stigma of racism and builds trust, confidence and familiarization.
Cheaper Compared to Private Vehicles:  public transports are affordable and cheaper when compared to private vehicles like car. If we are an owner of a car this means we have to maintain our vehicle with timely services, filling gar or petrol whether you use it regularly or no. Whereas, with public transport we have to pay a minimal amount of fare and reach our destination hassle free.
Conclusion: the above mentioned reasons recommend me strongly to agree with the concept of introducing an international law on control of car ownership and its use.

can you please score my IELTS Writing essay. can you please score my essay and help to improve my writing skills
5 (100%) 1 vote

1 Answers
Thuy Dung Pham answered 2 years ago

As far as I’m concerned, bullet-point writing style is never appropriate for IELTS academic writing. Please change to essay-style and re-submit.

can you please score my IELTS Writing essay. can you please score my essay and help to improve my writing skills
5 (100%) 1 vote

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