Can you please score my essays that I created by following your advices.

QuestionsCategory: Advantage/DisadvantageCan you please score my essays that I created by following your advices.
MuratAydin asked 7 months ago

Topic:
Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job
is to complete a course of university education.
Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work.

How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?
TEXT:
 İt is commonly believed that being graduated from a university is the essential step of finding a preferable job which is oftenly wished to have. On the other hand, I agree with those who think that obtaining a empiricial knowledge about the field that one opts for, is far more better than just being involved by theories that are familiarised in universities.
 
To being with, in the university education,  it is accepted that lessons do not entail a pratical process which is always needed in a typical workplace.  Pupils thus are deprived to have a experience about process of manufacturing or creating which cause them to ask for help from other experienced workers. I personally observed that, in some work places, postgraduates which have never educated about the process of manufacturing apart from books, are contempted by  the expert employees as well as are not shared the neccessary practical information to maintain the production process. İn addition to this, starting earlier to business life provides candidates to have a natural form of theories. For instance, when one encounter with a problem, despite the fact that he has never been educated theorically, he can readily solve the problem as he has been involving practically.
 
 
Nevertheless, there are some jobs that warrant theoric  education, such as becoming doctor or lawyer which needs a long period of focusing on theories. They are just possible by completing a universty course. Another advantage of graduating from university is that it gives you  more chance when it comes to choosing a job. Most employer will be impressed by a candidate which proved himself with his degree that had needed a self-discipline and commitments in order to finish his study.
 
İn conclusion, I believe that finding a job without  going to university is possible. Having said that, I think, some profession, such us being lawyer require a degree and as I stated above, a universty degree has more potential when it comes to apply to a job.

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