Can You please check my Ielts task 2 essay? Thanks!

QuestionsCategory: OpinionCan You please check my Ielts task 2 essay? Thanks!
Malak Usama asked 2 months ago

A little bit of liberty is needed for an artist to develop his/her creativity,nevertheless, a chunk of people believe that artists need full freedom to express themselves through their art work. I believe that the defenition of art is liberty therefore the abscene of freedom within an artist would not make him an artist.
Art is merely an illusion that reality and the real world limitation should not interfere with. Art is considered to be the only route to the human beings fictional minds, It is where hidden feelings and thoughts are expressed, the thoughts that no power on earth could limit. Modern and abstract art are great examples of the limitless and illogical types of art where pictures and stories from the subconscious mind come to the real world. Absence or little of freedom in art erases the road to people’s inner world and voices.

Art is an output of an unchangeable formula that consists of two things; creativity and liberty. Creativity is what shapes an artist,its his ability to bring illogical thoughts and feelings to the logical world. Liberty is the tool he uses ti express concealed fantasies. For this instance, I strongly agree with giving artists the complete freedom to expressing what normal people with worldly limits can not do.
In conclusion, Art is made of freedom and creativity, absence of one of these components degrades the quality of the artist and the piece of art.

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1 Answers
Rachel answered 1 month ago

A little bit of liberty is needed for an artist to develop his/her his or her creativity, nevertheless, a chunk of (inappropriate language) people believe that artists need full freedom to express themselves through their art work. I believe that the defenition definition of art is liberty therefore the abscene absence of freedom within an artist would not make him an artist.
Art is merely an illusion that reality and the real world limitation should not interfere with. Art is considered to be the only route to the human beings fictional minds, It is where hidden feelings and thoughts are expressed, the thoughts that no power on earth could limit. Modern and abstract art are great examples of the limitless and illogical types of art where pictures and stories from the subconscious mind come to the real world. Absence or little of freedom in art erases the road to people’s inner world and voices.
Art is an output of an unchangeable formula that consists of two things:; creativity and liberty. Creativity is what shapes an artist, its it is his ability to bring illogical thoughts and feelings to the logical world. Liberty is the tool he uses to express concealed fantasies. For this instance, I strongly agree with giving artists the complete freedom to expressing what normal people with worldly limits cannot (can not) do. (?!)
In conclusion, Art is made of freedom and creativity, absence of one of these components degrades the quality of the artist and the piece of art.
TA – max 5.0 
Can you post the task question?!

  • quite simple and not convincing to have a high score
  • underword (should be 250+)

CC – 5.5

  • there’s a flow but some parts give irrelevant examples

LR- 5.0

  • repetitive and simple words

GRA – 5.5

  • simple structures

Overall 5.0

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