Can someone assess my essay and give it a score? I need to my level of writing. Thank you very much!

QuestionsCategory: Writing Task 2Can someone assess my essay and give it a score? I need to my level of writing. Thank you very much!
fathiamni asked 2 years ago

Q: Computers are being used more and more in education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion.

A:

Technology does play an important role in education systems these days. Schools, universities and even tuition centre depend on technology like projector and computers. It can be seen that technology does benefit students and teachers all across the country.

Firstly, computers can make learning time much more interesting for teachers and students. The teachers can attract their students’ attentions during their classes. This helps in term of making classes much more effective and enjoyable. For example, educational games on computers like coding programs can help to to gain curiosity among young students. Instead of learning coding through the black and green screen, they can have more colorful games which can create more fun in learning.

Secondly, through the Internet on computers, tablets and smartphones, students can access more information about certain subjects. I believe that this will certainly help students to learn beyond their textbooks and classes. They can expand their sources of information. For example, a lot of educational apps have been developed. There is an apps that explains more about chemical reactions. It is known that students can not make any experiments on chemical reaction without teacher’s guidance. Thanks to the apps, students now can have more understanding about chemical reaction.

However, there are also some disadvantages on having these technologies. The students might get addicted to computers. They will spend more time on computers instead of playing outside with their friends. This situation somehow will affect students’ health. Other than that, it is quite unsafe for students to use computers without some restrictions. They might tumble upon websites on porn or online gambling. This situation has been the major problems on having technologies used in education system.

In conclusion, I think that the advantages of using education system have outweigh the disadvantages. In my belief, education system needs these technologies to evolve in order to make learning time more enjoyable and to expand students’ source of informations.

(333 words)

Can someone assess my essay and give it a score? I need to my level of writing. Thank you very much!
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