Which score I get for this essay? Please help!

QuestionsCategory: QuestionsWhich score I get for this essay? Please help!
jasmine asked 3 months ago

In many countries, teenagers are encouraged to do part-time jobs. What’s the situation like in your country? What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of doing part-time jobs?

It is common nowadays for students at university or college to undertake part-time work either for money or gain some work experience. In my opinion, this has both advantages and disadvantages.

The first obvious advantage is that work can bring in money. In many countries, students are independent from their families, or their parents are not wealthy enough to afford their education. Therefore, a part-time job can greatly contribute to the financial position of a student. It may be an essential factor in permitting study in the first place. For example, in Britain, the tuition fees have increased a lot in recent years, which has kept some of the intelligent but poor students from concentrating on their study as they are often in debt and in severe shortage of financial support. So, if they want to continue their academic pursuit, many students have no choice but to work in addition to their academic duties.

Moreover, a part-time job can help prepare a person for the real world of work, a step out of the ivory tower. Many employers nowadays complain that new workers do not appreciate the needs of business, nor can they apply their theoretical study to practice. But some work experience gained during study can facilitate one to develop one’s career. My own experience is a good case in point. Thanks to my experience of working as a part-time computer programmer, I was easily able to adjust to full-time work responsibilities in an IT company after graduation.

However, it should be borne in mind that the primary purpose of university study is to concentrate on academic work, and a student who also works may be unable to devote themselves sufficiently to their study. Many universities have seen an alarming rate of students failing to meet the requirements of the universities in attendance, performance or assignments or exams. It seems likely that those students who work will have greater difficulty in passing their courses, with terrible consequences for their futures.

Therefore, in my opinion, the decision of whether or not to take up a part-time job while studying depends on individual students’ circumstances – it may be beneficial or financially necessary, but it should never be at the cost of underachieving in academic work.

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1 Answers
jasmine answered 3 months ago

In many developed countries like US, UK, young generations are more actively involved to do multi-task in order to develop interpersonal skills, knowledge and experience. In my point of view, there has some pro and cons. This essay examines both views.
On the one hand, it has several benefits of part-time jobs who actively involved with actual career or studies. Firstly, one who can handle the part-time job open internal treasure such as patience, dedications, etc. It also helps explore the capabilities to outperform and get to know, how to handle the situations. It helps develop market skills; work knowledge. In addition to that they can grow their contacts which could help them in the future.  In teenager age, learning what actual life is and how hard to make money whether encouraged by parents or someone.
On the other hand, there are some drawbacks of part time job. Firstly, one who may or may not concentrate a study, which is prime important future career. Part time jobs may be not career related. It could exhaust and create obstruction on studies. Moreover, it may distract career and taught how to make money in short way by petty businesses instead vision of high educations. Part time jobs are not   beneficial all times, because there is high risk involvement at workplace. Consequently, big issues concerned of safety always being there. Teenagers not actually trained and do not know how to perform at workplaces. As a result, it could be dangerous. Considering these real facts, it is hard to accept one can comfortably perform part time jobs and decide really beneficial or not.
In conclusion, part-time jobs bring many benefits to young generation which helps develop many skills, practical knowledge and experience. However, one should keep in mind that it is not a prime important than actual career. Under high skilled supervision one can safely work at workplaces.     

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